Cell biology, explained

Every part of a cell does a job, which is why cell biology is full of comparisons to cities, factories and schools. These relatables explain the main parts of a cell one at a time, each with an honest note on where the comparison stops working. Handy for GCSE and A level revision, and for anyone who half remembers the mitochondria being the powerhouse of something.

1. A cell in terms of a city A cell is just a city where the mayor has been kidnapped by his own filing system and the local energy provider is a small, bearded man with a vendetta against the national grid.
2. A cell in terms of a school A cell is basically a secondary school where the head teacher is permanently locked in the office with the master plan while the students struggle to find the light switch.
3. The nucleus in terms of a head teacher A cell nucleus is basically a head teacher who refuses to leave their office and only communicates via passive-aggressive memos shoved under the door.
4. Mitochondria in terms of a power station Mitochondria are essentially just the National Grid of your cells, except they have a much better track record of actually keeping the lights on.
5. Ribosomes in terms of kitchen staff Ribosomes are essentially the exhausted kitchen staff of a cell, frantically reading takeaway orders from the mRNA to assemble a protein panini.
6. The cell membrane in terms of a nightclub door The cell membrane is essentially a bouncer at a provincial nightclub who has been told to prioritise the guest list over common sense.
7. Cytoplasm in terms of the jelly in a trifle Cytoplasm is basically a biology classroom version of a suspiciously cheap trifle where the mitochondria are the soggy sponge fingers and the nucleus is a rogue, unwanted glacé cherry.
8. The endoplasmic reticulum in terms of a factory conveyor belt The endoplasmic reticulum is just a chaotic factory conveyor belt that has forgotten to sack the unionised staff.
9. The Golgi apparatus in terms of a sorting office The Golgi apparatus is essentially a Royal Mail sorting office staffed by microscopic, caffeine-addicted bureaucrats who have never seen the sun.
10. Lysosomes in terms of a bin lorry A lysosome is essentially a council bin lorry that has been permanently assigned to the most chaotic round in the city.
11. The vacuole in terms of a loft water tank A plant cell vacuole is just a loft water tank that spends its entire existence bloated with sugary bathwater, desperately trying to keep your interior walls from folding like a deckchair in a gale.
12. Chloroplasts in terms of a solar farm Chloroplasts are essentially a solar farm built by a plant that has never once had to deal with a local council planning committee.

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