How life works, explained

Living things run on a handful of processes: copying DNA, building proteins, speeding up reactions, moving water, releasing energy, passing on signals and eating each other. These relatables explain them one at a time with everyday comparisons, and each ends with an honest note on where the comparison stops working. They suit GCSE biology revision, starters and curious adults.

1. DNA in terms of Marbles Your DNA is essentially a bag of marbles that determines whether you end up looking like a god or a damp biscuit.
2. DNA replication in terms of a photocopier DNA replication is essentially the process of trying to photocopy a secret recipe in a busy office while the machine is running out of toner and hates your guts.
3. Protein synthesis in terms of a sandwich shop Protein synthesis is just a frantic lunchtime rush at a sandwich shop where the head office recipe book is handcuffed to a radiator in the basement.
4. Genes and chromosomes in terms of a library Your genetic makeup is essentially the world's most bureaucratic public library, staffed entirely by people who refuse to lend you the source material.
5. Mitosis in terms of a franchise opening a second branch Mitosis is just the biological equivalent of a Greggs franchise realising the local high street is crying out for a second branch of mediocre sausage rolls.
6. Enzymes in terms of a locksmith An enzyme is just a locksmith who specialises in opening a single, very specific Tesco Value padlock, and refuses to charge for the labour.
7. Osmosis in terms of a busy Tube carriage Osmosis is just a crowded Central Line carriage where the water molecules are the commuters frantically trying to squeeze into the space that has fewer people.
8. Anaerobic respiration in terms of a sprinter Anaerobic respiration is just a sprinter deciding to reach the finish line by ignoring the fact that they have forgotten how to breathe.
9. Photosynthesis in terms of a barista Photosynthesis is basically just a barista having a breakdown because the machine is broken, but they have to keep serving lattes anyway.
10. Digestion in terms of a conveyor belt sushi restaurant Digestion is essentially a Yo Sushi conveyor belt where the chef is blindfolded and the customers are armed with industrial-grade hydrochloric acid.
11. Reflex actions in terms of a fire alarm A reflex action is essentially a fire alarm that has been wired to bypass the office manager's desk entirely.
12. Food chains in terms of pass the parcel A food chain is basically a game of pass the parcel where the music is the relentless march of biology and the prize gets significantly smaller and soggier at every layer.
13. Natural selection in terms of a school bake sale Natural selection is essentially a school bake sale where the only rule is that the soggy Victoria sponge gets binned by the Year 6s, and the gluten-free flapjack survives to colonise the entire canteen.
14. Evolution in terms of Strictly Come Dancing Evolution is essentially the BBC’s Strictly Come Dancing, where every organism is a contestant desperately trying to survive the week without being eliminated by the unforgiving judges of natural selection.

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